For people with HSP who are worried about having few friends
HSPは友人が多い？
Do HSPs have many friends?
繊細で細やかな気配りができるHSPですが、友人は多いのでしょうか？自分のことを書いていきます。自分は45才になりましたが、コロナを抜きにしても友人が少ないと思います。まれに孤独感に襲われることもあります。もし同じような境遇で悩んでいるHSPの方がいたら交流してみたいです。
振り返ってみると中学のときはおしゃべりがとても好きで、気の合う友達とならずっとおしゃべりしていたような気がします。この時のポイントは共感だったと思います。共感してもらえる相手とだけは気持ち良く話せました。
ただ高校、大学、社会人と年齢が進むと少し周りの人とは感覚が違うなと思うようになりました。例えば、一人ひとりとは中の良い友人が５人いたとして、5人同時に集まる場があったりすると楽しめず、居心地が悪い気がしていました。
今思うと、自分は相手ごとに見せる自分を最適化してしまったのじゃないかと思っています。だから複数の友人が同時に集まるとどの自分を演じていいのかわからなくなってしまうのではと思っています。
会社に入った後も先輩や後輩とはよくコミュニュケーションとれるのだけど、同期の集まりにでるとどう振舞ってよいのかわからず居心地が悪い思いをしました。これもどの自分を演じればよいのか分からないからだったように思います。先輩や後輩など役割分担が明確な場合は演じやすいのかもしれません。
こんな事情からHSPは結構、近くにいる人にあわせて生きていくのは得意だけど、人付き合い自体は苦手なんではないでしょうか？
HSP are sensitive and detail-oriented people, but do they have many friends? I’m going to write about myself. I’m 45 years old and I don’t think I have many friends, even without the corona. I sometimes feel lonely. If there are any HSP people who are suffering from similar circumstances, I would like to communicate with them.
In retrospect, I was very chatty in junior high school, and I think I chatted all the time with friends I liked. I think the key at that time was empathy. I was able to talk comfortably only with people who could empathize with me.
However, as I progressed through high school, college, and into adulthood, I began to feel that I felt that I was a little different from the people around me. For example, if I had five friends, I would feel uncomfortable and unable to enjoy myself when there was a place where all five of us gathered at the same time.
Now that I think about it, I think I’ve optimized the way I present myself to each person. I think that’s why I don’t know which one I should play when several friends get together at the same time.
After I joined the company, I was able to communicate well with my seniors and juniors because it is easy for me my roles, but when I went to gatherings with my peers, I felt uncomfortable because I didn’t know how to act. I think this was also because I didn’t know what role should I play. It may be easier to play the role of a senior or a junior when the roles are clearly defined.
I think that HSPs are pretty good at living with the people around them, but not so good at socializing.
HSPはHSPは友人になれる？
Can HSP be HSP’s friends?
今、自分の職場にはHSPと思われる同僚がいます。とても繊細な仕事ぶりで少なくとも仕事でのお付き合いは楽です。
また以前、HSPの座談会に出たときは、初めて会う人だけだったのに十人以上の人に囲まれてもとても居心地がいい感じがしました。少なくとも所謂、圧迫感を与える人はいなかったのを覚えています。
少なくとも上記の集まりでは自身を演じる必要が無かった気がします。今の段階の結論としてはやはりHSPとは友達になりやすそうです。
今後も上記のような集まりを探して参加していこうと思うのですが、この年齢になって人付き合いの輪を広げるということ自体に少し気恥しい感じはします。でもくじけずにトライしていこうと思います。
何か共通の趣味（テニスとかお酒とか）を介してお付き合いを開始してみようと思います。
I have a colleague at work who seems to be an HSP. He is very sensitive and easy to get along with, at least at work.
Also, when I attended a tea party for HSP, I felt very comfortable even though I was surrounded by more than ten people, even though meeting them was the first time. At least, I remember that there was no one who gave me a sense of oppression.
I don’t think I had to play myself, at least not at the above gathering. My conclusion at this stage is that HSPs are easy to be friends with HSP.
I will continue to look for and participate in gatherings like the ones mentioned above, but at my age, I feel a little embarrassed about expanding my social circle. But I will not be discouraged and will keep trying.
I’m going to try to start a relationship through some common hobby (like tennis or drinking).
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